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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28883055">Wreck My Plans, That's My Man</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecmagnuslwb/pseuds/alecmagnuslwb'>alecmagnuslwb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Annoyance, john literally wrecks plans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:07:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28883055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecmagnuslwb/pseuds/alecmagnuslwb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zee has a plan, an exact plan that will result in an easy fight and a quick win for the good guys of course that’s when John shows up her knight in shining dumbass and he messes the whole thing up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Constantine/Zatanna Zatara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wreck My Plans, That's My Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title taken from Willow by Taylor Swift</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zatanna settles down behind a long line of old white sheet covered furniture, she’s quiet and completely unseen since she arrived thanks to a bit of cloaking magic. Behind her a slick dressed pack of skin suited demons are gathered with hellhounds at their side. They’re meeting to discuss another apocalypse world domination attempt, because yeah they have meetings for those.</p>
<p>She’d caught wind of the gathering through a few of her more unsavory informants in the magic underworld and knew that she could put a quick easy stop to whatever apocalypse they were planning before it became an all out, Metropolis and Gotham both instantly on fire, heroes up type of affair.</p>
<p>She’d called around for some backup to no avail, but that’s okay. She can handle this on her own, the backup was just a worst case scenario situation, which considering how this pack of demons are at each other’s throats about which apocalyptic method works best there won’t be a worst case scenario tonight.</p>
<p>She’s more than strong enough to handle this on her own and she’s got a damn good, and damn simple plan to finish this up without the demons ever even knowing she was there. A couple quick and quiet spells, a big dramatic show of force and all these fools and their little dogs too will be sent back to hell where they crawled up from.</p>
<p>She loosens her black tie a bit and rolls her wrists before putting her hands to the ground already feeling the ever strong current of power at her fingertips begging to be let loose. She opens her mouth just about to let the first of her backwards words slip from her dark wine painted lips when she catches sight of him, trench coat flowing behind him as he makes his entrance. His completely unplanned entrance.</p>
<p>“Hey, there demons, it’s me ya boy,” Constantine announces loudly his accent booming across the empty space of this old abandoned house.</p>
<p>The demons and their hellhounds all turn their attention his way, standing up and taking fighting stances immediately.</p>
<p>“Shit,” she says under her breath dropping her head to her knees. Of course he shows up in this moment, of course he checks his voicemail for once, of course he’s here about to make this a whole mess it didn’t have to be because she had a plan.</p>
<p>They work together well, better than well on most days, but when he shows up unannounced and without warning it’s always bound to be a messier battle than it has to be. When this is over, she’s going to kill him.</p>
<p>Her quiet curse catches the attention of one of the hellhounds its head tilting her way as the others stay focused on John. And just like that any semblance of her plan going off without a hitch bursts into flames.</p>
<p>She moves into a crouch as soon as the hellhound charges towards her and drops the cloaking spell while placing a hand to the ground.</p>
<p>“Kcab ot ruoy hsilleh esuohgod dab yob,” she says and a crack in the ground starts to form beneath the creature’s feet. It loses it’s footing as the crack widens smoke and just a whiff of fire and brimstone curling around its feet and pulling it under with a loud yelp. She stands to her full height and now the rooms attention is on her.</p>
<p>“Hey, luv,” John says waving at her from across the room bright orange flames curling around his hands as he does. “Got your call.”</p>
<p>Zatanna grumbles focusing on the five demons and four hellhounds before her.</p>
<p>“So, I was gonna do this the easy way, but the hard way is the only option now it seems,” she says looking at them all with a smirk before gathering her power into her core lamenting internally how this could have been over and done with in mere moments.</p>
<p>She jumps over the back of the furniture to come face to face with the first of her opponents as John does the same on the other side of the room. Another one of the demons attacks her from the side bringing its hellhound along with nipping at her heels.</p>
<p>She shouts backwards magic sending waves of safe fire and bursts of knock outs their way as she glides on air literally. One of the demons flings her back, but she’s quick with her words creating a cushion on the wall that she bounces back from and lands on her feet with panther like grace using the spell that sent the first hellhound back to the doghouse once again. The demons watch in anger as their pups are pulled under.</p>
<p>She rushes them the magic literally sparking in her eyes. Out of the corner she catches John throwing flames at the three coming his way, two unconscious hellhounds laying at his feet.</p>
<p>“Don’t forget there’s still people in there, Constantine,” she shouts as she dodges a punch from one of hers and lands her elbow in his throat.</p>
<p>“I know, babe,” he says as he tumbles backwards taking a punch to the gut. She focuses back on her task at hand knocking the second demon down with a hard kick to the shin. She focuses her energy down and floats back up just out of their reach before gripping them both around the torso with magic and bringing them with her.</p>
<p>“Esaealer eseht snamuh dna og eht kcuf emoh,” she yells tightening her magic on them just enough. Their heads move violently back and forth and for a moment she’s scared that they’re going to go full Linda Blair, but just like that they settle, their mouths opening wide and the black essence of the demon floating up into the air and then down into the cracks still in the ground.</p>
<p>Black goo seeps from their eyes as she gently lays the humans on the floor, she checks their pulses assuring they’re alive and well, which they are, before turning her attention to John. He’s cornered by his three, a bruise already forming around his left eye.</p>
<p>The two hellhounds he’d knocked out stir, one lifting its head up blinking slowly and for a second it looks almost just like an actual dog. She shakes her head not letting herself be phased by thinking a hellhound looks kinda cute when it’s waking up and lifts her hands dragging the pair of pups over the cracks in the ground where they’re siblings have gone giving them the same treatment.</p>
<p>A burst of flames swish past her busting the window behind her which turns her attention back to John who’s literally hand to hand fighting three demons like it’s a bar brawl. She rolls her eyes heading his way as she calls her magic up to her fingers again wrapping it around the throats of two of the demons tight enough to get their attention, but not so tight she hurts the people these demons are borrowing and leaving John to the final one.</p>
<p>She yanks them back tossing them into the same cushioned wall she’d landed herself into before.</p>
<p>“Didn’t you hear what I said to your friends?” she says calmly, pinning them in place. “Kcuf ffo ot erehw ouy emac morf.” She does a complicated move with her hands as she says the words and watches as they convulse and exit through the cracks in the ground just like their friends had.</p>
<p>She walks over to check their pulses as well, breathing out a sigh of relief when she finds them, behind her she hears the familiar Latin words of a banishment spell falling from John’s lips followed by a scream and a thud as the body of the person the demon had taken over drops to the ground.</p>
<p>“Ouch,” John says as he stands and she turns watching him limp a little over to check the last one’s pulse. “This one’s alive,” he says as he shakes out his leg and comes to her side.</p>
<p>She sighs in relief as she says a small spell under her breath gently floating the five men to a nearby covered couch and laying them all on it. She walks over behind them waving her fingers over each of their heads.</p>
<p>“Ekaw htiw on seiromem fo tahw deneppah ot uoy, dna peels ysae for eht tser fo ruoy sthgin,” she whispers as sparkles of bright blue and purple magic fall onto them. She gestures around the room making empty bottles of liquor and crushed cans of beer appear to sell a story to them all when they awaken.</p>
<p>They all start to stir and Zatanna gestures towards the door indicating for her and John to leave, she’s satisfied they’ll be okay just a little groggy and believing they’d had a few too many in an empty house and lost track of everything. These guys will be confused enough even with her spell, the last thing they need is to wake up wondering who the beat up guy in the trench coat and eyeliner and the chick in fishnets are.</p>
<p>By the time they get on the sidewalk, she hears the sounds of ambulance sirens heading their way, likely one of the guys waking and calling for it first thing just in case.</p>
<p>Zatanna stops at a street corner waiting for John to catch up. She looks down at her maroon button up shirt and sighs when she spots a rip in it.</p>
<p>“Hctits siht pu,” she says waving her hand over the tear. She looks down at the rest of her outfit, her jacket and high waisted black shorts with the shiny silver lines running up the sides are all intact, but damn if there’s not a long tear in the side of her fishnets. Sometimes she thinks she should find out if there’s some sort of fishnet weekly delivery service with the way she goes through them. She should definitely at least buy stock in the fishnet stocking industry if nothing else.</p>
<p>“Good thing I showed up for backup huh,” John says when he reaches her. He’s already reaching into his pocket for his cigarettes, his black nail polish is chipped, there’s a cut on his cheek and the bruise under his eye is blooming even brighter already.</p>
<p>She scoffs, knowing the whole thing would have resulted in zero injuries and ripped shirts if she’d just gotten to do her own plan.</p>
<p>“The one time you check your voicemail, the one time!” Zatanna shouts frustrated.</p>
<p>“I check my voicemail all the time,” John defends, knowing he’s an absolute liar.</p>
<p>“Bullshit, you either answer on the first ring or pop up in my bedroom a week later with demons on your tail, you have no in between,” she huffs stomping off away from him.</p>
<p>She’s not necessarily too tired to make a portal home to her apartment, but frankly Zee needs the air to feel a little less like killing John. She couldn’t just have an unreliable boyfriend who doesn’t show up. She knows that sounds insane, but it’s where she’s at in the moment.</p>
<p>“I had a plan, John, a foolproof plan, in and out in five minutes tops, not a scratch,” she says walking just fast enough he can’t quite catch up to her.</p>
<p>“You needed help,” he argues trailing behind her. She hears the flicking of a lighter as he talks.</p>
<p>“I needed backup, just in case, quiet backup to be on my side if needed. You didn’t answer so I figured out a plan that didn’t require backup. You pulling up shouting ‘it’s me ya boy’ did not help that plan,” she huffs and picks up her pace a little more. John grumbles and sighs in defeat trailing behind her quietly smoking.</p>
<p>He knows her well enough to not try and argue right now which she appreciates.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Nearly thirty minutes later they’re walking down the street headed towards Zatanna’s apartment, an apartment he’s hoping he’s going to be allowed to enter with how annoyed she is with him in the moment.</p>
<p>They’re walking in total silence that doesn’t necessarily feel awkward but there’s definitely tension in the air. Zatanna slows a bit as she comes closer and closer to her place, he’ll never cease to be amazed at how those chunky heels she favors don’t slow her down more often. She pauses in front of a store leaning her hand out on the window as she lifts a leg and twists her ankle around in relief. She gives the same treatment to her other foot before glancing up and catching John’s eye in the reflection of the glass.</p>
<p>“Zee are you still mad?” John asks hesitantly stepping up behind her.</p>
<p>“Do you think that voodoo doll looks enough like you to work?” she says without missing a beat gesturing towards the small blonde voodoo doll in the occult shop window she’s stopped in front of. He’d laugh at the joke if he wasn’t also a little bit scared. He loves a very powerful woman who’s kind and gentle, but also doesn’t mess around. Just ask the hellhounds and demons from tonight.</p>
<p>“Look, I’m sorry alright, truly,” he says squeezing his way between her and the glass. “I didn’t mean to mess up your plan, not that I knew you had one.”</p>
<p>She gives him a warning look and he backtracks.</p>
<p>“Not that that is any way the point,” he says with an apologetic smile and her face softens just a bit. “I’m sorry that I made a scene and didn’t just support whatever you had planned, that’s on me.”</p>
<p>Zatanna takes a deep breath releasing it slowly before biting her lip in thought. He holds back the smile he wants to let out, knowing that look is the look of her just about to forgive him. She huffs taking her hands out of the pockets of her leather jacket and reaches out her fingers trailing along the cut of his jaw. She whispers a few words under her breath as he feels the tingles of her magic, comfortable and familiar, crawl across his skin. He feels his cut stitch itself together and the ache of his bruise disappearing.</p>
<p>“You’re forgiven I suppose,” she says dropping her hand when her work is done and sighs tossing the long French braid her hair is in over her shoulder. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t cause a scene every now and again.” He smirks reaching out and cupping her face in his hands. He places a light kiss on her nose that she scrunches her face up at, but smiles just a bit.</p>
<p>“You love that about me,” he says with a chuckle.</p>
<p>Zatanna rolls her eyes, “The show woman in me occasionally enjoys your ability to cause theatrics, I wouldn’t necessarily call that love for it though.”</p>
<p>“Me thinks, the lady doth protest too much,” he says and Zatanna groans.</p>
<p>“Okay, that’s enough of that, let’s go home,” she says stepping away from him. She threads their fingers together this time and pulls him along. “I need a long hot bath and if you keep groveling a bit more I might just let you join.”</p>
<p>John perks up at that. Just a few steps after that they stop as they reach the front door of her building and she uses her magic to unlock it her keys lost a long time ago.</p>
<p>“Oh I can grovel, I can get on my knees and everything if you like,” he says wiggling his eyebrows as she looks to the side at him.</p>
<p>“I hope that’s a promise,” she says with a smirk of her own winking at him as she pulls him along up the stairs.</p>
<p>He practically falls over as they tumble up the stairs and somewhere in the back of his mind though he doesn’t have a clue why he deserves it he knows she’ll happily let him ruin every plan she makes as long as he shows up eventually, and as long as he grovels just the right amount afterwards. He’s happy to do just that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Since I went a little longer with the backwards magic so if you’re wondering what they say and don’t feel like deciphering them in order it’s: ‘Back to your hellish doghouse bad boy’, ‘Release these humans and go the fuck home’, ‘Fuck off to where you came from’, ‘Wake with no memories of what happened to you and sleep easy for the rest of your nights’, and lastly ‘Stitch this up.’</p>
<p>tumblr:  <a href="https://alecmagnuslwb.tumblr.com/">alecmagnuslwb</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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